I read 98 pages in Moon Shot and 10 pages in the book of Esther from the Bible this week.

Quotes of the Week

All quotes this week are taken from Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

1. “Zond.”

2. About Apollo 8: “It was the single greatest gamble in space flight then and since.”

3. “On the lunar dust they placed mementoes for the five American and Soviet spacemen, Gus Grissom, Ed White, Roger Chaffee, Vladimir Komarov, and Yuri Gagarin, who died in a plane crash in 1961.”

Responses

1. This one simple word meant everything to the race for the moon. Zond was the Soviet space program to get to the moon. Incorrect information from reconnaissance satellites told the U.S. that they had to move quickly to beat the Soviets to the moon. That is why Apollo 8 flew over Christmas.
2. Apollo 8 was a great gamble; it sent to the moon a rocket that had not yet been tested manned in earth orbit. They were also the first manned mission to leave earth orbit.
3. I am stunned by the thoughtfulness of the astronauts of Apollo 11 to honor both American and Soviet men lost in the pursuit of greater knowledge about space.

2. Response post:

I remember being in grade school and being afraid of what the teacher would think. “Rain” by Naomi Shihab Nye just struck a cord with me from when I would get critical comments back from my teacher about what I wrote. I remember the big handwriting and trying hard to get the letters right. For me however, this time period happened sooner than third grade. I wanted to cry for Paul, because that touch on his shoulder must have really meant something to him.

It must have been hard for Alan Shepard to wait almost ten years for another space flight and then have the responsibility of the rest of the Apollo program on his hands. It must have been equally as difficult for Deke to see Alan fly and not be up there himself.

Shepard’s responsibility to the Apollo program that was losing support after the Apollo 13 failure was best stated by Moon Shot:

“So Apollo 14, Shepard knew, had to be better than merely a successful mission. It had to be a superb effort to keep Apollo afloat.”

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

I had been previously unaware of the problems that Apollo 14 faced. I did not know how much trouble they had docking Kitty Hawk, the command module, to Antares, the lunar module. They also had trouble with their abort program kicking in unasked for and their landing radar not registering for quite some time until they reset the circuit breaker. “The rule book said, ‘No radar, you don’t land. You abort.’” Still, by how the authors paint the picture, I am convinced that Alan Shepard had the gusto and would have landed that lunar module without the landing radar.

Esther

God really placed Esther and Mordecai in unique positions to aid the Jews. I’m sure that if Esther had not had enough courage to approach the king, God would have found someone else, but God gave Esther great courage and her people supported her through prayer and fasting. Esther could have been punished by death for approaching the king unasked, but God was with her and through the good will of the king, he extended his scepter and Ester was both given life and the life of her people, the Jews, which Haman sought to take away.

Moon Shot

When reading about Apollo 13 from the perspective of Moon Shot, no one can forget to connect it to the well known movie Apollo 13 along with its accompanying documentary. While the focus of the movie may have been the problems with the air filters, Moon Shot focuses more on the problems in determining how they would make their trip home and how to keep the environment inside Odyssey and Aquarius livable. Their path home was actually a hybrid free return trajectory, which meant that the astronauts would harness the moon’s gravitational force but at the same time have to make an engine burn. Also, the spewing oxygen from the command module caused the craft to be positioned slightly off the proper trajectory. Therefore, corrective burns had to be made to return the ship to its trajectory. I was amused to hear that as they entered the Earth’s gravitational pull, “suddenly, it rained inside the command module.” This served only to emphasize how much frozen moisture build-up happened within the space craft. All the work of everyone in NASA served to make the “mission…a successful failure.”

I am thoroughly astounded by the frankness and thoroughness of the report compiled by NASA after the Apollo 1 disaster. According to Moon Shot a replica was built and burned to try to find the problems and the source of the fire. “It shook up many of those involved so badly they went home to stare at walls.” The final report on the Apollo 1 incident was 3,300 pages long and weighed nineteen pounds. From my experience at Space Camp, I know that analyzers found over one thousand major design flaws.

Unbeknownst to me before I read Moon Shot, the Soviets suffered a similar tragedy around the same time with the loss of Soyuz 1 (Soyuz means union). Vladimir Komarov was the cosmonaut that died as a result of multiple failures of various systems within his craft, the final ones being the failure of both parachutes and the cushioning retro-rockets. As was the case with numerous Soviet landings, his body was found by farmers after they worked for an hour to put out the fires that blazed following his crash landing.

When I read about how the Soviets took to Apollo 8 officially announcing that the United States had beat them with a man to the moon, I was astounded a how well Lev Kamanin worded his disappointment in his diary:

“‘For us this [day] is darkened with the realization of lost opportunities and with sadness that today the men flying to the moon are named Borman, Lovell, and Anders, and not Bykovsky, Popovich, or Leonov.’”

            -From Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

It was very controversial, but the reading by the Apollo 8 crew on Christmas of 1968 will never be forgotten. In fact, one woman filed a lawsuit against the astronauts for reading from the Bible. The important part that the reading from Genisis emphasized was that when God created the Earth, he called his creation good.

I appreciate how much groundbreaking work the Apollo 9 crew did in their experimentation with the first space craft designed to fly only in the vacuum of space. The LM was quite an interesting craft and Jim McDivitt’s first reaction to the craft sums up its appearance:

“‘Holy Moses, we’re really going to fly that thing? It’s a very flimsy craft – like a tissue-paper spacecraft. If we’re not careful, we could easily put a foot through it.’”

-From Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

When I read about how Alan Shepard found his cure for Ménière’s syndrome, I was ecstatic. In the same way, I hope that in my lifetime they will finally develop the technology to, for all with bipolar disorder, cure the illness, or at least put it into permanent remission.

Picture from http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/lunar/apollo1info.html 

As much as I support the United States, I applaud the Soviet Union for their accomplishments in space. It was astounding how early in the space race they put up Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman in space, up there. Then just two days later they launched the rocket carrying Alexei Leonov, the first space walker into space. I appreciate the speed in which the United States was able to reciprocate a spacewalk, but I regret how far behind the United States fell in reciprocating putting a woman in space.

In hindsight, it is very funny that on Gemini 3, a corned beef sandwich was brought up that had gone through rigorous testing to be put into space, yet I can see how, at the moment, the officials of NASA did not find the humor. It is true that the gag flawed the results of the medical tests being performed, and the engineers were true to say that crumbs could have affected the electronics. Still, the engineers were digging for an excuse to reprimand what the media found humorous.

The technological efforts of Gemini are quite notable. The Soviets could not measure up in their spacewalking capabilities. Also Gemini showed an ability to handle emergencies in space. Gemini 8 included a deadly spin. Gemini 9 included space walking troubles that could have also proven deadly. The United States made great strides with the Gemini program.

Apollo 1 was a terrible tragedy, and that is an understatement. As I read about the events in Moon Shot, it was as if my heart was ripped to shreds. Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee vividly described the situation enough to make it seem real. I think the best tribute that I can give to Apollo 1 is my quotes this week.

Quotes of the Week

All quotes this week are from Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict and Barbee

1. “The entire problem might amount to no more than a loose wire.”
2. “‘Fire!’”
3. “The lives of Gus Grissom, Roger Chaffee, and Ed White had been snuffed out in eight and one-half seconds.”

Responses

1. This first quote was actually referring to communications issues that were had in the Apollo 1 ground test, but I found it sadly ironic how it referred to the main problem in Apollo 1 – exposed wires.
2. Such a simple word foreshadowed such tragedy. Not much more can be said.
3. Eight and one-half seconds was all it took to bring on such a catastrophe. This catastrophe brought to light more than one thousand major design flaws.

Quotes of the Month

All quotes are from Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

1. “Good Lord, they were going to land on the moon.”

Such an astounding thing it was to land on a body in space that was so familiar a yet so unknown. I am astounded that there was not more to be said.

2.  “Soviets Send Man into Space; Spokesman Says U.S. Asleep”

Such an interesting headline to emphasizes how the news media can take quotes out of context, and yet it is so true that the U.S. did not expect to be beaten in getting a man into space.

3. “‘Fire!’”

I am astounded still at such a simple word announcing such a disaster. This one word struck fear into grown men and brought others to their knees, crying.

I read 100 pages in Moon Shot this week.

I was astounded when I read in Moon Shot about Gordo Cooper’s Mercury flight. They at first didn’t want him to fly because they were afraid of how it would look to have a redneck flying in space because of Cooper’s deep Oklahoma accent. He also ruffled some NASA feathers by hot-dogging it in his airplane. He proved his skills though when it came time to take manual control of the aircraft. He flew better than the autopilot would have flown and he landed an astounding four miles from the recovery ship. If I were to trust someone to fly me in a space capsule, I would trust Gordo Cooper.

This past week, I could really relate to Deke Slayton. When a nurse went to take my vital signs, the blood pressure was fine, but the pulse was very low. She took my pulse by hand and came up with a more acceptable number, but she said my heart beat was irregular. I felt the nervous tension that Deke must have felt when he was told the same news. Lucky for me, my EKG came back that the irregularity was one commonly seen. I just don’t get accurate readings from machines. Unfortunately for Deke, his irregularity was not so benign. For all that I was nervous, I can imagine he was one hundred times more nervous. His career was on the line. He was also mad because his pride was hurt from being told that he was grounded. It was a good thing the other six astronauts were thoughtful enough to get Deke the position of Chief of Astronaut Office.

Alan Shepard must have felt just as much frustration as he encountered his own difficulty:

“Alan met with Deke Slayton to report on what he encountered. He laid it out straight. ‘All of a sudden, Deke, I fell. I was so dizzy! The room was spinning around and suddenly I’m on the floor. I got up holding onto the wall and right away I got so sick I vomited. I thought, Jesus, what the hell did I have to drink last night? It must have been one hell of a hoorah, but, well, that just wasn’t the case.’”

            -Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee.

He encountered Ménière’s syndrome. Lucky for him he kept his foot in NASA’s door. It is clear the effect that Shepard and Slayton’s input had on the narration of the book.

In Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee, the essence of the space race is truly captured, including the events, the people, and the feelings. Each of the Mercury flights had something unique. Shepard had to urinate on the launch pad and faced over eleven g-forces. Grissom wore women’s lingerie in order to not repeat Shepard’s first event, and he faced the trouble of vindicating himself of the charges of opening the hatch. Glenn saw “fireflies” and had to perform special maneuvers for fear that his heat shield had come detached. All flights were unique.

Kennedy was definitely responsible for kick starting the United States space program, but as Moon Shot put it, “if it wasn’t for the Russians, we wouldn’t be going to the moon.” The challenge from the Russians was just was the United States needed to spur on the race to the moon.

Much is to be said for the way the astronauts held together. That was the only way for them to survive. When Alan Shepard saw his fellow astronauts struggling to get rides in a parade, he was moved to action.

“‘At that moment I swore myself to an oath,’ Alan said. ‘No more “I” did this or “I” did that. From then on, whenever I spoke, it was “we astronauts,” and “we did that” and “we’re going to do this.”’”

            -Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

They had to stick together with the barrage of media at their doorsteps. After all, Louise Shepard had to leave a note on her door to keep the media away on the morning of Alan Shepard’s launch that said:

“There are no reporters inside. I will have a statement for the press after the flight.”

            -Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

The media was the same ones that could get up enough hype to spur on the space race.

I read 108 pages in Moon Shot this week.

Top Three Quotes of the Week

1. “Good Lord, they were going to land on the moon.”

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

2.  “Washington had given the Russians an open door and a free ride to lead the world into tomorrow.”

 -Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

3.             “‘Have you come from outer space?’ asked the astonished woman.

            ‘Yes, yes, would you believe it?’ Gagarin answered with a wide grin. ‘I certainly have.’”

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

Responses:

1. I chose this first quote, because it brings up the difference in perspective before and after landing on the moon. Before it was done it was an astounding feat. If you were to tell someone that you were going to land on the moon, they might tell you to put your head on straight. Now, landing on the moon almost seems like an ordinary thing to do.
2. Many of the things that Washington did put the U.S. behind in the space race for a while. Washington didn’t want a rocket designed for military purposes to launch the first satellite, however looking back, we see that if they would have used the technology developed by von Braun and his team instead of investing in Vanguard which failed, the U.S. might have beat the soviets into space.
3. Whether Soviet, Russian, European, Japanese, Chinese, American, or any other nationality, I greatly support everyone in spaceflight. When I read this quote, I laughed out loud because it almost sounds absurd to have men from outer space landing on earth. Secondly, I felt happy for Yuri Gagarin getting to be first in space. Lastly I realized some of the realities about Soviet spaceflight that are present in this quote. A farmer is speaking to Yuri; most of the time, farmers were the first to find the cosmonauts. Secondly, Yuri landed on land; the Soviets always had land landings. Third, Yuri is proud for his country. For many cosmonauts it was all about serving their country.

One thing that strikes me about the media during the space race and the media in general is how they can take things out of context. The media needed a quote from Colonel John “Shorty” Powers who was spokesman for the seven astronauts and would not wait until morning.

“A reporter woke Powers and started asking questions. Groggy, befuddled, and angry, Shorty snarled into the phone, ‘If you want anything from us, you jerk, the answer is we’re all asleep!’ He slammed down the phone. The moment was heaven-sent for a newsman out for the perfect cutline, and my morning the reporter’s newspaper headline shouted:

SOVIETS SEND MAN INTO SPACE;

SPOKESMAN SAYS U.S. ASLEEP

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

Irony is ever present throughout literature, but it is even better when the book is non-fiction and the irony is present in history. It truly was a toss up as to who would put a satellite into orbit first or who would put a man in space first. The United States had the capabilities to send a satellite into orbit first, but the workers were not given permission. The United States had the capabilities to send a man into space first, but the rocket scientists required more tests.

This irony about the first man in space is present in Moon Shot in a conversation between Alan Shepard and his wife Louise.

“[Louise] came into the living room, and her three words said it all. ‘You got it!’ She threw her arms around [Alan], and he squeezed her until she almost winced with the pain. ‘You got the first ride!’

He shouted at her, ‘Lady, you can’t tell anyone, but you have your arms around the man who’ll be first in space!’

‘Who let a Russian in here?’ she mocked him.

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

Moon Shot does an excellent job at telling history as a new story and not one that we’ve already seen in the newspapers and heard on the radio. I listened to lectures at Space Camp, and much of this is the same material, but with each new page, the authors bring to light new details about the space race.

Moon Shot by Alan Shepard, Deke Slayton, Jay Barbee, and Howard Benedict is written in such a way as to pull the reader in. It includes interesting stories about the space race that the average person does not know about or only knows vaguely about. When reading Moon Shot, the reader is given such imagery as to feel like he or she is actually there where the events happened. Still, as Barbee and Benedict are both journalists, the reader receives a story that is as factually correct as if it was printed in a newspaper. Though Moon Shot focuses on Shepard and Slayton’s side of the story, much is told about the whole space race, Wernher von Braun’s involvement and the Soviet Union’s role in the space race.

Neil Armstrong wrote the introduction and he has a calm eloquent way of summing up the space race. It is clear that he chooses his words carefully. It is clear that he was chosen to be first on the Moon because of how he carries himself, how he is careful with his words, his calmness under pressure, and how he demonstrated his flying abilities in Gemini 8.

What strikes me about Wernher von Braun is that he was peace loving in his scientific pursuits.

“When von Braun’s V-2 rocket first hit London, he remarked to some of his colleagues, ‘The rocket worked perfectly except for landing on the wrong planet.’”

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

Von Braun’s original intentions were for space travel and not for war. This original dream got him off the streets and back in the classroom where he graduated valedictorian and one year early. The need for a job has a funny way of forcing people to do things they do not want to do.

Moon Shot almost comes out and says that the United States could have been first in space. This would have radically changed history. Wernher von Braun and his crew in Hunsville, Alabama had built a rocket (Missile 29) capable of launching a satellite into space.

“When von Braun asked for permission to launch a satellite into space, Eisenhower denied the request, and Missile 29 was stored in a shed at the arsenal. Washington had given the Russians an open door and a free ride to lead the world into tomorrow.

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

While reading, it occurred to me how narrow the field was to be an astronaut. This is quite different from today in which the field is broad and we even send female teachers into space.

“’The test pilots we are considering must meet certain minimum standards,’ the NASA announcement of astronaut qualifications read. ‘Each man must have at least fifteen hundred hours of logged flight time; jet pilot training, experience and full qualifications; at least a bachelor’s degree for academic qualifying; and he must pass national security requirements. He may not be taller than five feet eleven inches, he must weigh less than one hundred eighty pounds, and must be under forty years of age.”

-Moon Shot by Shepard, Slayton, Benedict, and Barbee

These requirements specifically excluded women and limited the search to about 110 men. I believe this made it harder for the United States to reciprocate putting a woman in space after Valentina Tereshkova went into space.

“In the wake of a bipolar diagnosis, parents, friends, and relatives who didn’t recognize the signs of mental illness are probably thinking:

‘I thought he was just stressed out by exams.’

‘I tried to be nice to her when I saw her.’

‘I just thought he was drunk.’

‘I thought she really was pregnant with Steven Colbert’s baby.’

‘He did always talk about a lot of weird stuff.’

‘I thought she was just working too hard.’

‘He seemed perfectly normal.’

‘She was always so cheerful. I can’t believe she was depressed.’

‘If only I’d paid more attention, I could have gotten him help sooner.’

‘I had absolutely no idea.’

-Welcome to the Jungle by Hillary Smith

I really resonate with people having odd reactions to learning you’re bipolar. I walked up to a parent of someone I knew on the street and they just chewed me out for some of my actions I made while my raging emotions were ruling my body. On the same account, a parent of someone I know became over-protective and I had to stop telling her what was going on. Immediately after I was diagnosed I wanted to tell my parents and general practitioner, “I told you so!” My dad’s reaction was probably something to the tune of, “I knew something was wrong with you, but I didn’t know what.”

“You can go totally limp wherever you’re sitting right now. If you live with someone they will find you eventually, motionless on the floor. You don’t have to do anything; just lie there.

            “People will attempt to rouse you. You still don’t have to do anything. At some point, someone will call an ambulance to take you to a hospital. While there, you continue to remain motionless. Eventually a team of specialists will move you to a facility designed to take care of people who do nothing but lie there. There are plenty of things you should do: get up and get on with your life, be a good parent, be honest, work hard, study hard, be kind, participate in life. But all these actions require you to choose to act on these behaviors. You don’t have to live this way; you are not physically forced to behave in any given fashion.

            “While you lie motionless in a home, all your friends will visit for a few weeks and watch you lie there doing nothing. You’ll lose your job and probably your house. After a few years, you’ll likely lose your spouse and even your own family will eventually only visit on holidays. You can lie there and do nothing for as long as you choose. Because there are no musts.

            “Then one day after a few years of just lying there, you decide to get up and start talking. You leave the institution and start putting your life back together. At this point you have no money, no clothes, no home, no bank account, no spouse. It may take a few years and some pretty impressive explanations to your friends and family, but you manage to bring them back into your life and gain back their trust. But you can probably forget about your old boss and your old job.

            “Guess what? You can probably piece your life back together, and you do it faster than you think. Eventually you’ll recover your world, and in a decade no one but the people closest to you will even remember the entire episode. You’ll even get a new job and your world will return to normal.

            “Even after all that, everything will be okay, and who knows, maybe even better than before. This absurd hypothetical example illustrates that Believing in musts is irrational. Remember: there are no musts. You do not have to do anything. Must is an illusion. And guess what? Everyone else on this planet enjoys the exact same freedom you enjoy. No one else must either!”

- Lord, Spencer. The Brain Mechanic. Deefield Beach, Florida: Health Communications,  Inc., 2011. Print.

This quote at first struck me as funny because the example is so extreme that it verges on absurd. Yet at the same time, this gave me food for thought. The passage was best combined with a quote from later on in the book.

“Anger stems from irrational beliefs about others, and anxiety stems from irrational beliefs about yourself.”

-The Brain Mechanic by Spencer Lord

These two quotes combined changed my belief about my anxiety. I realized that it stemmed from the same irrational beliefs that cause me to feel like a failure. It’s not that I have low self esteem, but rather that I hold myself high enough and to high enough standards that I’m bound to fall short. If there’s nothing that I must do, then whenever I do something positive, I am successful.

This concept of musts also helped me free myself up for the pressure chains that school had me in. While taking a break from my studies, I could just cope with my anxiety and focus on healing and molding my brain to function better in the future.

The Brain Mechanic is truly a useful tool that will lead you to reflect of you life and why you feel what you feel.

I read 102 pages in The Brain Mechanic by Spencer Lord.

What I like about the Spencer Lord's writing style is that it's easy to understand. Feeling Good by David Burns is another book written about Cognative Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Feeling Good is written like the report of a medical study or a doctoral thesis; it is very difficult to read and understand, and thus it is difficult to apply. Spencer Lord's style of writting is conversational, so it is easy to understand and quite applicable. Because of this writting style, Spencer Lord opens up CBT to everyone.

Lord breaks down the process of how emotions are formed in order to understand how to change emotions. A simple summary of the book would be: EV+b=EM. In other words, Event plus belief equals emotions. This shows how you can take unhealthy, or irrational beliefs and change them into rational beliefs in order to obtain healthy emotions.

Recently I was forced to use these concepts. My brain was overloaded by emotions and my amagdalae sent my a signal or fear. It was fight or flight, and because I do not fight, my brain immediately told my body to run away. I ran as if running for my life. It felt like my brain was hijacked. After about five minutes, though, I managed to get my pre-frontal cortex in control and replace the irrational belief of having to run with a rational belief of the need to return home. I was home within fifteen minutes of my departure. These cognative concepts can be lifesaving.